Are your child's sleep habits keeping you awake at night?
If so, you've probably heard about Ferber sleep training. This method is designed to get children to fall asleep on their own, without being soothed to sleep by their parents. It works by having parents progressively withdraw from their children over a period of several nights. Here's an outline of the typical procedure.
o Night One: Put your child to bed (while he's still awake) and leave him alone for 3 minutes. During these 3 minutes, ignore your child's cries and protests. After the 3 minutes are over, you can check on your child. But keep your visit brief--no more than 30 seconds. Don't pick him up or hold him, because doing so will "reward" him for crying. At the end of your visit, leave your child again--this time for 5 minutes. Perform another quick check, and then leave him for 10 minutes. Repeat this cycle (briefly checking on your child and then ignoring him for 10 minutes) until your child finally falls asleep.
o Subsequent nights. Continue the procedure outlined above, but each night increase the time between checks. For example, on Night Two, wait 5 minutes before your first check, 10 before your second check, and 12 minutes before all subsequent checks. After a few nights of training, intervals between checks might stretch to 20 minutes or more.
Is the Ferber method right for your child? Unfortunately, there is no clear-cut answer to this question.
On the positive side, scientific studies show that Ferber sleep training is an effective way to reduce bedtime tantrums. Ferber "graduates" are less likely to awaken their parents at night, and parents report improvements in their own stress levels and mood. For a sleepless parent at the end of her rope, these benefits are extremely important.
But on the negative side, the training process can be very distressing. During training, children may become so upset that they vomit. Some parents may find this intolerable.
More importantly, no one yet has studied the long-term effects of Ferber training on a child's personality, stress-response system, or emotional development. This lack of information - and the fact that "crying it out" is a very unusual parenting practice when viewed cross-culturally - persuades some people to reject the method.
But regardless of the controversy, there are some points on which the experts agree:
o The Ferber method is NOT appropriate for young babies. Young babies need to feed at night, and their sleep patterns are still immature. For these reasons, researchers recommend that parents avoid Ferber sleep training for babies less than 6 months old.
o The Ferber method is NOT appropriate for kids who have a conditioned fear of being left alone in their beds or who have a conditioned vomiting response.
o The Ferber method is NOT appropriate as a treatment for most child sleep problems. For instance, if your child suffers from separation anxiety, or sleep apnea, or a circadian rhythm disorder, Ferber sleep training isn't going to cure these problems. In fact, it might make things worse. For these reasons, it's important to identify and treat your child's specific problems before you try sleep training.
o The Ferber method does NOT teach kids how to fall asleep. During Ferber sleep training, kids are left to work things out for themselves. If you really want to help your child fall asleep on her own, you need to teach her specific relaxation techniques.
o The Ferber method isn't the only sleep training program available. A recent review by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine suggests that other, less distressing methods are equally effective.
The bottom line? Before you attempt the Ferber method, consider your child's age and temperament, and screen her for pre-existing sleep problems. It's also a good idea to check out alternative training programs. After "shopping around," you'll be in a better position to choose the best approach for your child.
Copyright March 2008
Gwen Dewar