The Ferber Method - Is It Right for Your Child?

Are your child's sleep habits keeping you awake at night?

If so, you've probably heard about Ferber sleep training. This method is designed to get children to fall asleep on their own, without being soothed to sleep by their parents. It works by having parents progressively withdraw from their children over a period of several nights. Here's an outline of the typical procedure.

o Night One: Put your child to bed (while he's still awake) and leave him alone for 3 minutes. During these 3 minutes, ignore your child's cries and protests. After the 3 minutes are over, you can check on your child. But keep your visit brief--no more than 30 seconds. Don't pick him up or hold him, because doing so will "reward" him for crying. At the end of your visit, leave your child again--this time for 5 minutes. Perform another quick check, and then leave him for 10 minutes. Repeat this cycle (briefly checking on your child and then ignoring him for 10 minutes) until your child finally falls asleep.

o Subsequent nights. Continue the procedure outlined above, but each night increase the time between checks. For example, on Night Two, wait 5 minutes before your first check, 10 before your second check, and 12 minutes before all subsequent checks. After a few nights of training, intervals between checks might stretch to 20 minutes or more.

Is the Ferber method right for your child? Unfortunately, there is no clear-cut answer to this question.

On the positive side, scientific studies show that Ferber sleep training is an effective way to reduce bedtime tantrums. Ferber "graduates" are less likely to awaken their parents at night, and parents report improvements in their own stress levels and mood. For a sleepless parent at the end of her rope, these benefits are extremely important.

But on the negative side, the training process can be very distressing. During training, children may become so upset that they vomit. Some parents may find this intolerable.

More importantly, no one yet has studied the long-term effects of Ferber training on a child's personality, stress-response system, or emotional development. This lack of information - and the fact that "crying it out" is a very unusual parenting practice when viewed cross-culturally - persuades some people to reject the method.

But regardless of the controversy, there are some points on which the experts agree:

o The Ferber method is NOT appropriate for young babies. Young babies need to feed at night, and their sleep patterns are still immature. For these reasons, researchers recommend that parents avoid Ferber sleep training for babies less than 6 months old.

o The Ferber method is NOT appropriate for kids who have a conditioned fear of being left alone in their beds or who have a conditioned vomiting response.

o The Ferber method is NOT appropriate as a treatment for most child sleep problems. For instance, if your child suffers from separation anxiety, or sleep apnea, or a circadian rhythm disorder, Ferber sleep training isn't going to cure these problems. In fact, it might make things worse. For these reasons, it's important to identify and treat your child's specific problems before you try sleep training.

o The Ferber method does NOT teach kids how to fall asleep. During Ferber sleep training, kids are left to work things out for themselves. If you really want to help your child fall asleep on her own, you need to teach her specific relaxation techniques.

o The Ferber method isn't the only sleep training program available. A recent review by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine suggests that other, less distressing methods are equally effective.

The bottom line? Before you attempt the Ferber method, consider your child's age and temperament, and screen her for pre-existing sleep problems. It's also a good idea to check out alternative training programs. After "shopping around," you'll be in a better position to choose the best approach for your child.

Copyright March 2008

Gwen Dewar

Sleep Problems - Can't Sleep - The Over Tired Myth

Sleep problems, the inability to sleep or to get a good and refreshing night's rest, plague millions of people in the United States and many more millions around the world. Children as well as adults are affected by insomnia, in fact, even infants may have sleep problems.

One term that is often used is overtired, or over tired. This is a misleading description, to say the least. Is it really possible to be too tired to sleep? Let's think about that for a minute. First of all, if you were too tired to sleep, if it was really possible to get too tired to sleep, then once you reached that point, it would be impossible to ever fall asleep again.

If being a little tired helps you to sleep, and being a little more tired than that helps you to sleep even more, why wouldn't being very tired help you to sleep? Of course, the answer is that it does. Many times children are labeled as over-tired, but what they really are is over stimulated, or just plain stimulated and therefore, find it hard to relax.

While relaxation and sleep are two different things, it is necessary to relax in order to sleep. It is one of the stages to sleep. Therefore, in order to go to sleep, an adult or child, even an infant, must relax. One part of the relaxation process is physical and one part is emotional or intellectual.

By physically relaxing, it is possible to trigger powerful neurotransmitters that relax the mind. By relaxing the mind, or slowing it down, it is possible to drift off to sleep. That is why relaxation techniques are so beneficial for people who experience sleep problems

Relaxation techniques for adults often focus the attention on different parts of the body or engage the mind in repetitive tasks. Children's bed time stories work well especially those that make use of subliminal suggestions that gently guide a child into sleep.

Whatever method is used to gently guide the mind and body into natural sleep, there is no such thing as being over tired or too tired to sleep. It is possible to be stimulated and therefore unable to relax, but that can be dealt with using proven methods.

Separation Anxiety and Moms - Five Steps to Overcome Worry About Children

Have you have ever felt separation anxiety when your child is away? You are not alone. Millions of mothers worldwide worry about their children. Moms care about how their children's health, feelings and well being. Nearly every mom has built-in intuition that tunes into her child.

So what is separation anxiety and how does it affect mothers? Separation anxiety for moms involves the fears, thoughts and worry that something bad may happen to their children should they leave their mother's side.

The situation is even more difficult for mothers with only one child. Those moms have poured all of their love, attention, energy and time on their one-and-only child. Now, as their son or daughter leaves home, moms plagued by separation anxiety can't stop thinking about them and wondering if they are safe.

Moms are involved with their child from the first days of pregnancy to the last days on earth. And there are plenty of situations and events that can cause worry, from taking those first steps to the first day of school, to trips with friends, going off to college or relocating to a different part of the country for a new career. When that child dies, the grief is overwhelming and the world seems to end for every parent, but especially for a mother who loves her child.

If the condition of separation anxiety bothers you, here are five steps to remove worry and renew your peace of mind.

1. Instead of planning a "going away" party, hold a "going ahead" celebration.

Let's face it, separation anxiety often imagines the ending a continual physical presence. Re imagine the outcome. Train your thoughts that your a child is "going ahead" to a life that is even better. Your child will return to a more mature and meaningful friendship with you.

2. Surrender your desire to hold on.

Look at nature. Mother birds teach baby birds to fly, often by pushing them out of the nest. Then, they catch them as they fall. When baby birds can fly on their own, they leave the nest and can soar to new heights. Look on with pride and thanksgiving.

3. Remain in touch - with self control.

Counselors and psychologists warn about "s-mothering" a child. Too much attention pushes a child away. Very young children who cannot feed, protect or clothe themselves, need regular contact and monitoring. When children get older, they need to learn how to fly as adults.

As a teenager or young adult departs for school, a job or to travel, make contact on a consistent, respectful basis.

4. Hold up your children in prayer.

Nearly every major world religion that has stood the test of time, represents God as a loving, protecting and wise Parent who cares for all people. Connect with God through prayer and experience deep peace and hope even when life conditions are difficult.

5. Understand that you and your child have connected for life.

For some moms, separation anxiety may begin at birth. Every mom that gives birth to a child started that life in her uterus. Every unborn baby is connected to its mom by a lifeline of the umbilical cord.

A typical umbilical cord is comprised of three strands of life - a vein and two arteries. Every nutrient, all oxygen and blood nurture the fetus through the arteries. Waste is eliminated through the vein. As the baby grows, a larger amount of life flows through the umbilical cord to your baby.

When your baby is born, the umbilical cord is cut, but you can now be connected to your child by three new strands - love, faith and hope. This new connection can remove your separation anxiety and last for eternity when you understand that your child is here with you.

Acid Reflux and Sleep Apnea

Many people suffer sleep apnea and acid reflux at the same time. In Latin, apnea means 'without breath'. Sleep Apnea is a disorder where the person sleeping involuntarily stops breathing for approximately ten seconds. It can also last as long as a minute. During an occurrence of apnea, the muscles of the lungs do not move, this occurs several times throughout sleep. The typical symptoms of sleep apnea are snoring, constant tiredness and morning headache.

Acid reflux or gastroesophageal reflux disease is a digestive disorder where the stomach acids enter the esophagus and cause damage to the mucus membrane. The burning sensation in the chest is the major symptom of the presence of stomach acid in the esophagus.

A link between chronic heartburn and sleeping disorders has existed for a long time. However, which comes first is unknown. There was a recent study done in Germany that found acid reflux symptoms develop in people that suffer sleep apnea three times more frequently than in normally healthy people. According to this study, it would appear that sleep apnea is that cause and heartburn is the side effect. Other experiments have shown that once the acid reflux disorders have stabilized, the symptoms of sleep apnea fade away completely or at least reduce considerably.

The burning, choking feeling as the stomach acid rises from the stomach up the esophagus. This is a feeling that will certainly keep you awake at night. In this case, it would be obvious that treating the acid reflux would go a long way in improving the quality of the sleep.

Sleep apnea more frequently occurs in older overweight men. Sleep Apnea also occurs in many infants, who suffer from these same symptoms. In order to avoid acid reflux symptoms it is a smart idea not to eat spicy foods and not to eat large meals especially two to three hours before bedtime. If you are hungry and must eat in that 2-3 hour range before bed then try fruits like pineapple or papaya. Crackers and a glass of warm milk are good for the digestive system as well.

Sleep apnea and chronic acid reflux are both associated with obesity. A diet that is heavy in sugar, fast food and fat will cause obesity. A proper healthy diet will go a long way in preventing both sleep apnea and acid reflux.

Do not let stomach acid cause inflammation of the throat and larynx. If you avoid acid reflux then you just could be avoiding sleep apnea.

Lack of Sleep Causes More Than Just a Tired Body

While most people will agree that a lack of sleep causes us to be tired the next day, many don't realize there are other effects on the body as well. While some of these problems might not seem too severe, others can prove to be far more dangerous than simple items to look over. In fact, we will touch on some of the dangers you might encounter, if you aren't sleeping.

One of the most common things that a lack of sleep causes is anger issues. While you might think that you are simply cranky naturally, the problem could be from a total lack of sleep. Studies have shown that this also causes impatience and sudden mood swings as well. In some cases, you might find that it changes your overall personality.

In addition to this, your immune system will begin to suffer as well. While you are losing sleep, your body can't regenerate and refuel parts of your body. This causes your immune system to continue working in overdrive and soon, you become more susceptible to the flu and other illnesses you might have normally would not have gotten.

Your eating cycle will be another item that a lack of sleep causes. When this happens, you might find that you are always hungry, even when you've just eaten. Your body is unable to determine what needs it actually has and soon you are consuming abnormal amounts of food that a little sleep could help to offset.

Of course, we also find that there is another issue that comes up. That is the fact that sleeping right can help to curb both depression and anxiety as well. When you don't sleep enough, it can begin to wear down on your emotional state as we mentioned earlier. But along with that, some psychologists suggest that both this problems can be significantly reduced if a person begins to get the prescribed normal sleeping hours for their age bracket. Which in most cases are 7 - 10 hours each night.

Getting to Sleep and Staying Asleep - What to Do If You're Having Trouble

As we all know, getting enough sleep is important to our good health and good frame of mind. Nothing is more refreshing than a good night's sleep; on the other hand, nothing can be as debilitating as any type of insomnia. If you're having trouble getting to sleep at night or sleeping through the night, try these simple tips:

- Don't drink caffeinated beverages or eat caffeinated foods before bed. This includes coffee, tea and chocolate.

- Don't use nicotine products. If getting to sleep or staying asleep is an issue, the stimulant effect of nicotine could be a factor.

- Develop a regular sleep time. By retiring at a regular time each evening your body will soon get the message that it's time to sleep.

- If you work from home, try to avoid using the bedroom as a workspace. If there is no other option, don't use your bed as your seating area. Limit your use of the bed to sleep time.

- Some people use reading in bed to make themselves tired. If you do, use a dim, highly focused light. Our bodies are naturally conditioned to sleep when it's dark and wake when it's light so avoid a lot of light.

- Try a workout before bed. Exercise works well for many people to help them sleep. If exercising before bed has the opposite effect on you, try a vigorous workout earlier in the day.

- Try listening to soft music, ocean sounds or white noise.

- Try Melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone produced by the body that helps regulate the sleep cycle. It's sold over the counter and a 3 mg tablet or capsule helps many people fall asleep and stay asleep.

- Avoid alcohol. It may make you drowsy, but it has the opposite effect on some people. It also dehydrates you so, even if you do fall asleep, you are likely to need water in the middle of the night.

- Use deep breathing to relax. Take deep, relaxed breaths and focus on your breathing.

- Avoid stressful activities in the evening. For some people this is discussing problems, for others it's paying bills. You know what it is for you.

- Some people have good results using an herb called Valerian root. You can get capsules, tablets or tea. Sometimes the soothing nature of the tea also helps on its own.

- Breathing the scent of aromatherapy candles or extracts like lavender help some people. A good health food store or the internet will have useful information.

- Women having issues with hot flashes keeping them awake can try Black Cohosh extract.

If not being able to sleep is a one-time or periodic occurrence, it will most likely pass if you don't let yourself get too stressed out about it. If it becomes a persistent condition, see a doctor or alternative medicine practitioner. Sleep difficulties, especially those that involve not being able to stay asleep, can sometimes be due to medical factors that include conditions like sleep apnea, a potentially serious problem if left untreated where an individual actually stops breathing while sleeping.

Top Four Anxiety Symptoms In Teenage Girls

Puberty can be devastating among teenage girls. Not only does a young girl have to worry about fitting in at school, shaping their identity, and dealing with hormones, they may often have issues at home as well. Anxiety symptoms in teenage girls are traits that are commonly expressed between the ages of 12 and 14 years old. In this article, you will see how to easily detect and identify the top four symptoms of anxiety of girls within this age group.

The first symptom to look for is going through things in cabinets, drawers, and other storage areas. They may not be looking for anything in particular. When asked why are they rummaging through things, most of the time, their answer is "I don't know." This is an outlet for them to get through their anxiety. The need to rummage somehow calms their anxiousness. This is analogous to when a drug addict searches for money to support a drug habit, which can cause them to literally tear a house apart, just so they can get their next dose.

The second symptom is more obvious and involves constant shaking and pacing. Most teenage girls will shake their feet and legs in a rocking motion, often doing this all day. Some may even eventually rock themselves to sleep in the process. When they are anxious about things in general, many times you will see them just walking back and forth, pacing the floor. Shaking, on the other hand, usually comes from being anxious about certain events. For example, let's say a young girl's boyfriend promises to call her at a certain time. This can cause her to shake impatiently until she receives the call. Another example is if someone promises her something very special but later is unable to deliver. She may then shake to try to prevent herself from having an anxiety attack.

The third anxiety symptom in teenage girls to notice is verbal attitude. When a young girl become bored, often the need to do something, anything, can become extremely important to them. They will often resort back to being a 5 year old child again, asking many questions. If the answers are not what they are looking for, temper tantrums can often be the result. You may even find them storming around the house until everyone is unhappy. This attitude can be explosive both to her and to everyone else around her. Many parents simply chalk this up to being rebellious, however, this couldn't be further from the truth. It is usually the outward expression of anxiety symptoms in teenage girls.

The fourth, and less common symptom to be on the lookout for, is the need to be creative. Although this can be a great avenue for expression, it can also be dangerous depending on what is created. Some young girls can create fantasies and get people to believe lies just so they can be the center of attention. This is dangerous because these fantasies are usually manipulative in nature and geared towards retaliation for situations that the young girls have usually gotten themselves into. For example, if a young girl gets a bad grade and is grounded for it, her need to create fables against the discipline are actions that are calming to her. She may be even plot actions just to get even. Many parents often chalk this up to PMS. However, PMS only lasts for a week out of each month, not all year.

You should also pay attention to some of the more mildly creative ways of dealing with anxiety. Many young girls will paint, write, or make photo boards that express their feelings. Pay close attention to all the artwork created by them. They tell stories. Many crimes in this day and age would not take place if parents paid more attention to their child's artwork.

These symptoms can be easily overlooked and simply chalked up to other causes. But they should be recognized for what they are and must ultimately be taken seriously and dealt with appropriately. And of course, there are more than just these top four symptoms of anxiety in teenage girls not being mentioned here, that may also need addressing.